First things first – thank you for your kind welcome to the world to our darling little girl – Maddison. Yes, she now has a name!
The days have flown by so quickly and I am trying to savour each and every second with this babe... I want it all to slow down – surely the snuggly, sleepy, milky, curled-up newborn stage could last a few months at least? That would suit me!
There’s so much to tell, so much to say. And, so much to just take in and process. I think the first week is just massive information and sensory overload – and that’s just for me! I’m sure it is for baby too – so we have kept things lovely and calm here for her. Well, as calm as can be expected with two very excited sisters around, especially when one of those sisters is still two (nearly thwee!) and wants “a turn” of her baby sister every five minutes... Aaahh the serenity! It’s all beautiful though – watching them bond as sisters.
Now that I am here trying to put words onto the virtual page, I realise just how huge a week it has been... A whole new person is here in the world with us; everything is so utterly different, and yet everything is so blissfully normal too. Does that make sense? It’s just that everything is exactly as it is meant to be. Perfectly right.
Basically, the birth story goes... After weeks and weeks of thinking I was going into labour, all Braxton Hicks pains stopped a week or so before the birth. Then, on Thursday morning I can feel the cramping, much like mild period pains, has begun.
I tell Alex and he immediately gets out the i-phone to time contractions except that just has me in fits of laughter because neither of us knows whether we should be timing from the beginning to the end or in between or what! (I know, 3 babies, you’d think I’d know by now!) Alex rolls his eyes at me and tells me to stop messing around!!! I roll my eyes back at him and tell him he should have read the literature...
Anywaaay, eventually we work out they are coming every five minutes. But they don’t stop me from laughing or walking or anything – yet. We call the midwife and my friend who will watch the girls to let them know today is “The Day”.
A couple of hours later midwife drops by and checks on baby – good movement and strong heartbeat – then she leaves us. All is well. Friend comes by, picks up the girls for a day of swimming and treats – always just a few minutes away for when it is time to come home.
Soon it is just Alex and I. Those hours together were lovely: I really appreciated that quiet time, just us as a couple, preparing ourselves for this big event. It wasn’t until sometime around 2.30pm, when two huge contractions in the shower have me gripping onto the door, that I ask Alex to call the midwife over.
An internal examination around 3.30pm shows I am only 2-3cm dilated... the prognosis is that I am hours away from giving birth – maybe not even until the night. The midwife doesn't consider me to be in established labour...
However, half-an-hour later, about 4pm, that all changes. It is suddenly so much more intense. I am in the room alone with Alex. I am in transition. I am sobbing: “I can’t do it, I can’t do it”. I am seized with fear. “You can do this,” Alex reassures me. Oh, how I needed that reassurance. I stop crying, try to focus, and let go.
Then...I am pushing. I feel her head...
At 4.38pm baby Maddison is born!
Really, it was exactly as I had dreamed: Safe and swift.
And since that magical moment? I am in bliss. I am in love. I am in tears. I feel empowered. I feel overwhelmed. I am full of milk. I am strong. I am fragile. I am full of joy. And then I am in tears again! Although I’ve made it through three whole days now without bursting into tears, so I think things are stabilising a bit now.
It all feels surreal, and perfectly normal, both.
And this little girl? This perfectly angelic little being? She is the best!!! We are all smitten with her. She is so happy and calm, so alert...
When my “big” girls walked into the room to meet their new sister... I don’t have the right words for how good that felt. You can see it in these photos - their joy at meeting this baby. Melli looks like the cat that caught the pigeon in that picture of first cuddle with baby!!
With Alex and all three of my girls here in the room - everything feels just right in the world.
And, there’s a heap more to say. But, right now, I need to curl up next to this little girl and breathe her in and count her fingers and toes again, and trace my finger along her adorable little cheek and give thanks for being gifted this amazing child and this beautiful birthing experience...
(...and maybe go back to sleep. Gees, I’d forgotten how hard the disrupted sleep hits you! Here we are, one week in - me bleary-eyed from lack of sleep; Maddison wide-eyed and full of curiosity for this new world of hers!)
x
